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LIVERPOOL STYLE
You
may think that fitting into Liverpool could be as simple as slinging on
that old tracksuit left over from the 80's that you never got round to
chucking out.
But
you'd be wrong!
It's not so easy, Liverpool has a tracksuit etiquette all of it's own,and
woe betide the stranger who dares to break the rules of dress.
Below is a breakdown of a few of the basic styles (there are many more)
to provide a guide for the confused tourist.
Le Posh
The
Look: Velour, jimjam style tracksuits. Preferably in pink or beige.
Spotted: City Center, everywhere!
Accessories: Orange sunlamp tan, girlfriend wearing identical tracksuit
in pink/beige.
Notes: It is believed that Posh Spice once wore just such a tracksuit
(in a moment of weakness.) Since then, this style has become de rigueur
for a night on the town, or indeed any time of day while on the pull.
It is important to hitch the pants down to reveal a slab of belly. Even
if you are thin, the amazing cut of these lovely trackies will ensure
that your belly will wobble and flab in a manner most repugnant, then
walk with your nose in the air as if wearing the finest Dior, you know
you look hot!
Executif
The
Look: Branded, two-tone, top to toe tracksuit, expensive trainers.
Spotted: At work, in the office.
Accessories: Small change for the snack machine.
Notes: An office environment often demands a strict dress code and businesslike
attire. Secretaries in particular need to look smart, so only expensive,
branded trackies will do. Presumably there are shops in Liverpool where
you can go in and say..."I have an important job interview tomorrow
- bring me your finest tracksuit!"
Le Shopping
The
Look: Blue shell suit.
Spotted: Hangin' out and screeching raucously outside Kwicksave.
Accessories: Baby under one arm, fag clutched in other hand.
Notes: This is a unisex style. (Though without the baby when worn by boys.)
Favorite colour for the lads is palest pastel blue.
Weasel
The
Look: Thin nylon with stripes.
Spotted: Following me down Smithdown Road. Everywhere.
Accessories: Layer of grime over suit and self, crack addiction.
Notes: Avoid at all costs.
